Momma

Today's weather outside finally felt like something from Wisconsin!!! Cooler, no severe humidity, and not a cloud in the sky all day. You have no idea how much I wished today was my half-day Friday, to be able to spend the afternoon out in it!! :)

It was 69 degrees outside at 7:06 AM when I left for work this morning, and at 12:45 PM when I was walking outdoors to go from one building to another for a training meeting, it felt like 87 degrees with a slight breeze. Except, it was a nice breeze - one that blew cool air that you could actually breathe in, instead of choking on the blast furnace air that usually blows around here. The grass didn't seem as crispy-crunchy today, either. :) I like Wisconsin summers so much better! I'm a big fan of having the four seasons, I have realized.

Anyway, today was a pretty cool day at work. This middle-aged woman that works with the team I'm currently assigned to decided to order a massive load of pizza from Pizza Hut here in town, to feed our entire engineering department. Her motive was to have everyone sit down and eat lunch together for once - that, and it was "Nissan Record Retention Day," where employees all across the plant had to purge their email systems of any mail older than 12 months. Our department chose to do this purging session over the lunch break.

Rumor was that 35 pizza boxes were ordered for this occasion, but honestly after getting in line and gaping at all of the piles myself, I'd put it at 55 boxes.

I'm gonna have to go with saying, that's a lot of pizza!

This woman who coordinated the pizza is one of the leaders of the pack here, she's a lot of fun and someone everyone knows and turns to. We call her 'Momma,' despite her real name being Cynthia. She takes care of everyone and says hello to each person, one-by-one, every morning. This nurturing role landed her her nickname, as you can presume.

Momma is a stout, plump little black woman with short spiky hair like Shawn Wayans.

Hair like Momma's - or Shawn Wayans, as pictured here.

You should also know better than to say "no" to Momma, though. She can get loud real quick, and has this fire in her eyes that will make your pancreas quiver. She is passionate, and randomly starts singing gospel songs out of her cubicle during the middle of the day. (I wonder if THAT'S why they put her cubicle in the corner of the room?)

What if Momma needs to get a hold of someone? Telephone? Email? Catch them on their walkie-talkie? Nah. Momma just yells out for them to come to her - similar to a mom calling her child after discovering a mess the child dumped and then ran away from. You just know from hearing the tone in Momma's voice that once she calls, you better spring up from that desk chair and get over there by her. And once you get over there, she pours the praise on you real nice and thick, asking how your day is going and if you need any sugar or a soda. She'll go buy one for ya.

I think everyone was relieved to see her in higher spirits today; she was surprisingly quiet yesterday. When I asked her what was up, I not only learned why she was quiet - but I also got a lesson on Mississippi's concealed weapon law here!

Apparently Momma was upset yesterday because the day before, someone tried breaking into her house. She doesn't exactly live in the best part of town, and during the day when she was at work, someone tried smashing open a window along the backside of her house, to climb through the window. Luckily enough, the window that was smashed was actually one that looked into the water heater closet, so the water heater, being big and tall, was standing right in front of the window. The burglar couldn't get in around the heater, and left with only having been able to smash that window open.

She was shaken up over the whole thing - her brother and younger sisters live with her, and she wants to protect her barge.

I asked her if she was worried about the robber coming back.

Her eyes flashed with a flame and consequentially I could feel my innards start to rumble. She quickly lipped off that, "NO I ain't worried at all. Because if someone's gonna try to set foot on my property I'm gonna pull my gun out on them. You should know better than to come to my house. And the only way you can get to my house is if you step into my yard. And you shouldn't be steppin into my yard if I don't know you."

I blinked a few times and then leaned forward, asking in disbelief, "You can shoot people here, just for coming onto your lawn??"

It was at this point one of the other locals was overhearing my conversation with Momma, and they chimed in. In unison, Momma and this other person sang out, "Oh yeah, with our gun law in Mississippi you can use whatever means necessary to defend yourself and your property."

Again, I blinked, and squeaked, "And you guys can't be convicted of murder or anything?"

Momma firmly shook her head no, and said, "Aw no honey, we can get away with it 100%, because of it being out of defense. No trial, no time to be booked in jail."

Very interesting!

I guess this brings me to two points now:
#1) This must be one of the origins of the Mississippi stereotype where everyone here is a total redneck and walks around with their "concealed weapon:" rifles slung over their flannel shirts with the sleeves ripped off.

#2) Homecoming season must be a real bummer if kids are too terrified to step into someone's yard to toilet paper a house!